Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Going to Heidelberg was great for five reasons. One, we had a nice room, as always, at the Heidelberg Marriott. Two, the weather improved dramatically. Three, after a month of eating not a lot of meat with our Chinese food, there was sausage to be found and eaten. Four, Germans are nice. Hairy, but nice. And five, and most importantly, I’m pretty sure you can turn any English word into a German word by adding “stein,” “enberg,” or “ogen.” This meant that speaking the language would be much easier than it was in China.


Our first stop on the Heidelberg tour was the Castle Schloss. This is a famous ruin on a big hill in Heidelberg. There’s a super-big keg inside (the second largest beer keg in the world) and it has amazing views. I bought Jack a postcard and drank the coldest apple juice I’ve ever had at the restaurant there while I wrote him a note on it. Then later, to prove it was authentic, Dad took my picture, while I held the postcard in front of where they took the postcard picture. Impressive stuff.

We had taken the tram up, but decided to walk down, which turned out to be a great idea because we ran into some sheep (Dad whistled at them and they came running, which amused us to no end), I ate a wild blackberry off a bush (and it didn’t kill me), and we found a fan-freaking-tastic sidewalk cafĂ©, where we enjoyed iced coffee and watched a wedding recessional in the sunshine. We did have a little bit of trouble finding our way back to the main train station after wandering around for a long time, so we rode the bus for about an hour or so, but we did eventually end up where we wanted to next:

The Heidelberg Zoo

This zoo was quite a bit different in Heidelberg than the Wuhan zoo. The first indication of this little fact was that there were animals at this zoo. Living animals. Not only were there living animals, but there was more than one species of animal at this zoo. Amazing, right?

The monkeys my dad had superglued together the last time he was here were still here, and they were mating. The hairy ass was still itchy. (And when I said it was a smelly ass and that “most asses are smelly,” the woman standing next to me surprised me by telling her four-month old “Don’t listen to her, she says bad words” in perfect American English. FYI, lady, your kid isn’t old enough to hold its head up yet. It didn’t understand what I just said. Also, I used it in a non-bad word context, so it doesn’t count as a bad word. Plus I should be able to say anything I want if it’s not in the country’s language, because by law nobody should be able to understand me). There was also an itsy-bitsy baby gorilla that I really liked and a trained seal that amused me as well.

The only part I didn’t care for about the Heidelberg Zoo was the part where I lost my brand new extra camera battery and camera case. We retraced all of our steps, but alas, we never found it. You’re welcome, teenage kid who found it and sold it on eBay.