Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The right dress

I get mixed feelings every time Brides magazine comes in the mail, these days. On one hand, I love the articles and fun tips and the fact that I'm actually getting Brides magazine (yes, that's still exciting). On the other hand, I have my wedding dress (have had it for a while, actually), and it's a little unnerving to flip through the pages and pages of ads showing beautiful dresses and wonder whether you picked the right one. Silly, I know. I shouldn't worry about something so superficial, but this dress, well, it's kind of a big deal.

Over the last 10 months, I've shopped, ignored schoolwork, tore pages from magazines, met with vendors, designed invitations, begged for help, begged for money, tied a million ribbons, budgeted, and prayed for this wedding.

The other day I was designing the rehearsal dinner invitations and spent about a half hour just looking at two peices of paper, both printed with the same wording in the same font in the same size, but one of the papers was a half an inch slimmer than the other, which had more white space on the sides. After about the 48th question about which of the two I should use, whether I should change the font, whether the font size was right, whether I should print it on velum or grey cardstock, how much bigger the purple cardstock I matted it on should be, whether I should use a brad or ribbon to secure it to the cardstock, and whether the wording was correct, Jack looked at me and asked:

"Why does it matter?"

I looked at him, half annoyed at the fact that he didn't care as much as I did, and half annoyed that the fact that I cared as much as I did. Why did it matter? I didn't know. But it did, and I had spent that much or more time analyzing every little detail of every other part of the wedding that has been planned thus far. Every detail.

But the dress is in a category all its own. You dream about this dress - not the "I've dreamed about this dress since I was a little girl" thing, although I guess there's some of that too - the "I dreamed that I was getting married at Six Flags and forgot my jewelry" or "I dreamed that I realized that I forgot to book the florist as I was walking down the aisle" thing (both dreams, by the way, were dreams I actually had). The dress is always in the dream. The groom isn't always in the dream. If there's one thing you don't want to screw up, it's this dress. I actually asked my friend/bridesmaid Brynn if it's crazy to go dress shopping again and buy another one. (By the way, it kind of is.)

So you stress about it instead. Did I pick the right style for my body type? Do I really like the material? Is the train too short or long? Is it appropriate for the garden setting? Will it look good in pictures?

What I'm really trying to say is:

I put the dress on today.

I picked the right one.