Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Toothbrush Trouble

Maybe it's just a rite of passage in married life: in the first few months of marriage, something will go wrong with one or both of your toothbrushes.

Not long after my brother and his wife first got married, she accidentally knocked his toothbrush off the counter and into the toilet. For reasons even she doesn't understand, instead of throwing the toothbrush away, buying him another $.79 toothbrush, and telling him, she fished it out of the toilet and put it back where it was. 

Later, when he was about to brush his teeth with said toothbrush, she stopped him just in time, confessing her sins and therefore saving him from brushing his teeth with a poo-brush.

Last night, Jack and I were about to go to bed, and as is the usual routine, we went to brush our teeth. The difference between last night and most other nights before that, however, is that we were going to bed at the same time and therefore brushing our teeth at the same time. Usually, I go to bed at about 11 or 12, while Jack will go to bed sometime between 12 and 3 (I work normal business hours, while he doesn't have to be at work until later in the morning or afternoon, depending on the day, and then he doesn't get home until about 10:30 p.m.) This works out well for "absence making the heart grow fonder" and birth control, but not for toothbrushing.

Jack started brushing his teeth first as I gathered up clutter and fed the dogs, as is the nightly routine. When I entered the bathroom, my toothbrush was nowhere to be found.

"Where's my toothbrush?" I asked, looking over at Jack, who was brushing away.

"Foofbruff?" he asked, confused, and looked over to the other toothbrush in the toothbrush cup.

Then I saw it. My toothbrush. In his mouth.

"You're using my toothbrush!" I exclaimed, quite surprised. You see, Jack had a big problem with sharing toothbrushes. I think he may have even brought this up during premarital counseling. It was against the rules. It really grossed him out.

"Fif ish my foofbruff," he argued, then thought about it. "Ifn't it?"

With that moment of hesitation, Jack decided that, his toothbrush or not, it wasn't worth the risk, and took it out of his mouth, rinsing it off and then rinsing his mouth out really well. 

"The blue one's mine?" he asked, baffled.

"Yes. The blue one is yours."


So basically we've been using the same toothbrush for about a month now. Needless to say it has been thrown away and I have a new one. Welcome to married life.


didlake said...

Jack and I don't see eye to eye, apparently, I would have finished the job with the toothbrush, rinsed my mouth in a normal fashion, and would have probably scrubbed my tongue with the one in the cup. That seems like a good way to go to me.