Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'd like mornings better if they started later

This morning, on the way to work:

8:10 – Ready to leave. Just have to get the flowers that Jack got me for our 6-month anniversary. He got me both roses and tulips, so I could have one at home and one at work. I’ve forgotten to bring the tulips to work every single day this week. I will not forget them today. I put my cell phone almost inside the vase (because I don’t forget my cell phone and if it’s close to the flowers I’m bound to remember them this time), and go put my breakfast hot pocket into the microwave.

8:12 – I grab a shorter vase from the cabinet to transfer the tulips into because I’d like to trim them a little… they’re looking a little sad. Meanwhile, the microwave beeps. My hot pocket is done, and I rejoice at the thought of it as I walk to the sink with my tulips.

8:13 – As I remove the tulips from their vase, the petals simultaneously fall off of each and every flower into the sink as if in a cartoon. I’m now holding 8 bare tulip stems.

8:15 – New plan. I’ll take a few of the roses from the rose bouquet and put them in a small vase, then take that to work. I find a small, round, ball-like vase and select some roses for it out of the big vase on the table. I cut the stems to what I think will be the right length for the bowl. Too long. I gather them again and cut a few more inches off. Uh-oh. Now they’re too short. I try to put them in the vase and they shift and fall out for lack of bottom-support.

8:21 – I’m still trying to balance the roses into the vase without them falling out. They look somewhat nice in the bowl, so I decide that will have to be good enough. They’re still quite pretty.

8:23 – I halfway-fill the bowl with water, and carry them out to the car right away so I don’t forget them. I place them gently on the floorboard and go back in to gather my keys, phone, work badge, and breakfast.

8:26 – I can’t find my badge.

8:28 – Finally! I found it! It was on the back bookshelf, where it always is. Wonder how I missed that?

8:30 – I’m finally out the door and into my car, breakfast, keys, cell phone, and badge triumphantly in tow. I pull out of the driveway and get on the road, while the nice lady inside my stereo reads me my book.

8:41 – I just stopped at a stop sign and the ball-shaped vase rolled forward, causing a massive spill. There are now red roses floating in a small lake on my passenger-side floorboard. I try not to have a wreck as I attempt to gather the now strewn-about objects.

8:46 – Finally at a stoplight. I grab the towels that have been sitting in my backseat since my friend Joanna gave them back to me two months ago, congratulating myself for never cleaning my car out, and try to sop up some of the mess and save the flowers. I do the best I can until the light turns green, but it’s probably not worth dying over, so I’ll clean up the rest of the mess when I get to work.

8:48 – I’ve just taken a bite of my sausage, egg, and cheese Hot Pocket when I feel something warm hit my stomach. I look down to find that a cheesy mess has fallen out of the bottom of said Hot Pocket right onto my shirt.

8:49 – I’m dodging traffic as I try to grab another clean towel from the backseat. When I use my sport top water bottle to try to wet the towel, I over-squeeze and spray water all over my pants as well.

8:52 – I’m finally in the parking lot at work, on the ground on the passenger side of the car, sopping up as much water as possible and gathering the wet towels and floor mat into a soggy pile. I balance the soggy towel/rug pile, flowers, vase, trash from breakfast, trash bag from front seat, water bottle, cell phone, keys, and ID badge in my arms and stagger toward the door.

8:53 – I drop the trash into the dumpster, thereby also dropping most every thing else in my hands.

8:54 – I spread the towels and floor mat out on my floor in my office, hoping that they’ll dry quickly and not make my office smell mildewed. The rest of the day is spent rotating between explaining why I have towels and car mats on my floor and thanking people for compliments on the flowers.

Not the worst morning I’ve ever had.


Meagan White said...

That was a very funny story. I've had those kind of mornings before!

McChatterbox said...

Just wondered over and peeked at your blog for the first time. Normally if I wear a white shirt to work I spill coffee...however if I wear a black top it gets covered with something light. I hate morningsl like these and one guy that I work with a perfectionist loves to point out a piece of lint on my shirt!