Friday, July 31, 2009

The tissues Jesus made

If I ever meet a really important person and am expected to bring him or her a gift of great value, I know what I'm bringing.

And it's from CVS.

I ran out of tissues at work in the middle of a very bad cold, so I headed to the drugstore to grab some more tissues and some decongestant medicine. I was debating on the bigger, 130 count box of tissues with only lotion, and the smaller, 60-count box of Puffs tissues with Lotion and Vicks for the same price. 

The couponer in me screamed "Bigger box! Better value!" (actually the couponer in me screamed "You idiot! You just bought 3 boxes of tissues with lotion for 50 cents each last week! How could you forget to bring them to work!?) 

For reasons I can only explain by the Holy Spirit moving in me, I grabbed the smaller, 60 count box of Puffs with Lotion and Vicks. 

Best decision I ever made. Including getting married.

I have never had such an urge to become a teeny-tiny person like they did in The Magic School Bus and live inside this box of tissues forever. Or, at the very least, cut little eye-holes in the side, stick my head in, and live the rest of my life with a tissue box on my head.

Within minutes, my sinuses were clear and I had taped a tissue to my face like a mask, where it would stay the rest of the day. (I didn't really tape a tissue to my face, but I'm not going to lie, I'm holding one to my face now and breathing in the goodness that is Vicks.) 

I handed them out at work as if they were precious gold coins. "Take a tissue! Smell this! Isn't it amaaaaaaazing?" They has security escort me out of the building, but at least my head is clear!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to write Puffs, Vicks, and Jesus a thank you card for making these magical tissues.


Jamie McLaughlin said...

awwww see it is blog posts like this one that remind me how much you and Jack are made for each other. haha

Mandy and Jack said...

Does Jack also have an obsession with Vicks-scented tissues like I do?

Meredith said...

Mandy you don't know me, but I read your blog daily. Asheville, NC, yeah that's me. This post is hysterical. Absoutley hysterical. In fact, I think you've sold me on the Puffs plus Vicks with your witty writing. Heck, I don't even have a cold, but I just might stop and get a box on my way home.

Mallory said...

If you weren't aware of it, you're hilarious. And you've so made my day brighter just with this post. =)

Tyler Jones said...

Wow, I love your blog. Always so good and refreshing. :)

Lipo Control said...

Good job with the whole blog. Your writing skills are so amazing. Brilliant!