Saturday, November 21, 2009

The big fight

Notice how I haven't blogged lately? It's because I'm too busy for my own good. My friend Sharon is trying to teach me to say "no" to things. So I said "no" to her invitation to hang out with her. That'll show her.

Anyway, on Wednesday night after Awana, I told Jack that two friends would be coming over to do some freezer cooking with me the next night, so if he could please pick up a little of his clutter, that would be helpful. Later, I asked him if he could run a vacuum in the living room if he had a chance Thursday afternoon, that would be nice, and he replied that he wasn't sure if he would have time. I said okay, and figured that I'd either vacuum after work before they got there, or just give up on trying to prolong the illusion that my house is always spotless. They're close friends. They're going to find out sometime.

So a little later, I asked Jack if he wanted to clean up with me, and he said he was busy doing something, so I laid down on the couch to watch the show for a minute. I fell asleep. Later, Jack woke me up and I went to bed, knowing the house was dirty but figuring I would just clean it up after work.

When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to walk into a spotless living room and perfect kitchen. I figured Jack picked up after I went to sleep on the couch, so I found a piece of paper and scribbled a little note telling Jack I appreciate all the things he does and enjoy being his wife. </sap>

On Thursday night when Jack got home, he gave me a big hug and with sad eyes, he apologized for being so mean to me the night before.

"Mean to me?" I asked, confused. "When were you mean to me?"

"Last night." he said, and when I was still confused, he explained the fight we had had.

 The fight we had without my knowledge.

Evidently, after I went to sleep on the couch, Jack tried to wake me up to help me clean, and I responded "what do you want me to do?" in a less-than-sweet-adorable-tone. And that? Made him angry.

So he angry-cleaned. If you've ever angry-cleaned, you know what I'm talking about. You're completely pissed but you're really efficient. He scrubbed every dish harder than he ever had before with his extra aggression, he made sure and swept every little part of the tile out of spite, and when he vacuumed? He accidentally-on-purpose slammed the vacuum against the couch a couple times where I was still fast asleep and completely oblivious to any slamming, or even vacuuming for that matter. Enraged, he cleaned the entire living room and kitchen to a flawless state in 30 minutes.

I should piss him off more often.

Maybe not.

Anyway, when it was time to go to bed, he woke me up once, but evidently I didn't wake up very well, so he left me there and got ready for bed on his own. Then, when he came out again and I didn't wake up, he simply shut off the lights on me and stormed off. When I got up and came to bed, he said I asked him "why he hates me," so evidently at least in my subconscious, I realized that he wasn't all-too-happy with me.

But awake, it was clear that I completely missed the entire fight, because I have zero recollection of it. Which, evidently, was the way to do it because I had a pretty great day thinking my husband was just being really sweet cleaning the house for me so I didn't have to.

He, however, thought the note I left was a peace-offering.

Oh, the many facets of communication in marriage.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

Um, HILARIOUS.

Keli said...

I cannot stop laughing. That is one of the funniest 'we had a fight' stories I have ever heard.

Erin Sullivan Haynes said...

Mandy, this is TOO funny. Tanner and I have these kind of fights alot. But, the subject of our quarrels is actually the fact the other one ALWAYS falls asleep on the couch and is a huge pain in the butt to wake-up and drag to the bedroom. Passing out on the couch is a bad habit we both share, and we take turns having annoyed conversations that the respective sleepy zombie will not remember the next morning.