Friday, February 5, 2010

How to work in an office

A lot of my friends just recently graduated, are going to grad school, or are job searching right now, so to help out, I thought I'd give you a few tips on working in an office, from my many, many (read: 2) years of experience in the real world. Here's how you can fit in with all the other white-collar workers out there.
  1. Comment on people wearing the same color clothes - Rest assured that if you wear the same color blouse (and heaven forbid, the same color blouse AND pants) as a co-worker, you will be hearing about it non-stop for 8 straight hours. Oh my gosh! You're both wearing pink today! LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT ALL DAY LONG!
  2. "Reply all" to things all the time all the time allthetimeallthetime. Because you are, in fact, as clever as you think you are, and everyone in your company should know it. (Except that you're not.)
     
  3. Ask how everybody's weekends were (even though nobody really cares) - For some reason, it's important to repeat this ritual every Monday morning. And FYI - responding to this question with "well, Jack and I killed a guy, but we got rid of the body and wiped all the fingerprints down, so I think we're good" doesn't go over quite as well as you'd think.
     
  4. Watch the shows they're watching. Even if they're stupid. Because there is a lot of talk about reality shows the next day. You might as well keep up and be a part of the conversation.

  5. Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Or, if you're like me, dress however the heck you want because you have the job you want anyway.
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