Thursday, September 30, 2010

He also cracks eggs into a glass and drinks them like shots, Rocky-style

Last night, I was talking to my friend Ellyn on Skype when Jack got home.

"It's leftover day," I told him, knowing that we had a lot of meals in the fridge that we needed to get rid of before I cooked another meal. "Do you want me to heat something up for you?"

"No," he said, "I'm not really hungry yet."

"Are you sure?" I asked "because every time you say that and I don't make you something and bring it to you, you just don't eat and I feel like a terrible wife."

Ellyn interjected.

"He's an adult," she said. "He can heat up his own meal. It's not your fault if he doesn't eat."

For the record, Jack always says the same thing, but it still makes me feel bad when I don't cook and he doesn't eat. (Am housewife! Must feed husband and vacuum floors and scrub toilets and pro-create! It's all I know to do!)

Later, I was in our bedroom watching Glee on our other DVR when Jack opened the door.

"Hey," he said as I paused the TV. "What was that beef in the clear container next to the chicken skewers?"

I looked at him quizzically.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't make any beef," I replied.

"Well, there was something in there," he said, and explained what the container looked like again. I still couldn't place it in my mind, so he turned on the light and showed me what was on his plate.

"See?" he said, pointing. "This beef. In the container next to the chicken."

"OH MY GOSH, JACK," I gasped. "That's raw beef. I cut it up for the skewers and never cooked it so I figured I'd make stew later with it."

"Oh," he said "well, I just ate two of them. They were kind of brown."

"Yeah," I said, "that's because they're old."

I called my Dad (food safety expert and the reason I bug Ellyn so much about her raw-cookie-dough eating habit) and woke him up to ask him if I needed to take Jack to the hospital, and he said that he'd probably be fine but to take him if he gets really sick in 4-12 hours. Then I spent 30 minutes Googling ways the raw beef could kill Jack.

Turns out, there are a lot. That made me feel a lot better.

For the record, I blame Ellyn.
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