How many years of marriage do you have to have under your belt before you feel wise? Because today, I have three, and I don't feel very wise. In fact, I may even feel a little less wise than I once did.
What I do feel, however, is blessed. Like, blessed beyond recognition. This guy I married, the karate guy? Is the jackpot of husbands.
He's smart. He's funny. He's just dorky enough to where he finds me hilarious but not so dorky that he embarrasses me in public. He knows how to dress well. He always smells good. He likes shopping with me. He's annoyingly good with money. He's a really good communicator. He has more integrity than most men I know.
Like I said. Jackpot.
I thought it was interesting that this week's 5 minute Friday topic was "on waiting." (I, of course, did not participate, because I do not know how to be brief or unedited). Looking back, "waiting" has been quite a substantial theme in our relationship.
We had to wait to be allowed to date because of our age difference. We had to wait to see each other when I was away at college. We had to wait until I had almost finished school to get engaged. We had to wait for marriage for, well, you know.
More recently, we found ourselves waiting to purchase the business, longer than we ever thought we would have to. And now that we have it, we're waiting to pay it off, waiting for Jack to achieve Mastership, and then waiting for whatever's next in our lives.
But even in the midst of all this waiting, we have found ourselves living. There was a time when I counted the days until things, obsessed with calendars because they told me when my life would start to happen; now I find myself barely looking at them at all (which may be why I forget so many appointments).
We will always be waiting on something to happen in our life, and sometimes that can suck, but the waiting is not what this marriage is about.
No, this marriage is about laughing until we cry, about budgeting and saving, about talking late into the night and hard work and cheap dinners in and hard lessons and sticky notes on the outside of the shower and working through tough stuff together and helping each other with the chores and making each other better each day.
And even if I don't know what I'm doing, I do know that it works - that it's good.
My life is here, with him, content, and I certainly don't need to wait to enjoy that.