Tuesday, May 17, 2011

In which there are no segues

Goings-on:
  • I have been sewing. And painting. And folding paper things. And baking. And baking and baking and baking.

  • It was my reward for my BikeMS ride. Months of planning and training (and almost-there-please-help fundraising!) left me not much time for craftiness. So now? My dining room table is a mess.

  • (It's really my whole house.)

  • Does everybody hate bobbins as much as I do?

  • I got an Audible account recently, and then a radio transmitter for my iPhone, and Jack got me an iHome for my birthday, and the combination of those things have been completely wonderful. I am currently enjoying "One of our Thursdays is Missing," by Jasper Fforde, read by Emily Grey (if you haven't read the Thursday Next series, run, don't walk. It starts with "The Eyre Affair.")

  • For as long as I can remember, my mom has been very offended when others say "I read this book" when they really listened to the audio book. So hear this, world: I am not reading these books. I am listening to them.

  • While I sew. And bake. And paint. And fold paper things.

  • Audible really needs a book-sharing option. Hopefully someday soon it will have that functionality. Make it happen, Audible!!

  • This.

  • I made that last night. I think my self-rising flour broke. Because it did not rise. It did, however, turn into very nice biscotti when sliced and baked again.

  • Hooray.

  • Next time, I'm going to get vanilla bean ice cream, mix it up with the flour, add in slivered almonds and Craisins, slice it really thin, and make thin biscotti and put white chocolate on top.

  • (I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP BAKING.)

  • We went to Six Flags this weekend with our karate school people. It was beautiful weather, which meant it was exactly the wrong time to go. People were everywhere. The lines were 2+ hours long. Note to self: go to Six Flags on a crappy weather day next time.

  • While in line for one of the rides, I saw a woman wearing a tube top with "I'd do me" screen-printed over her giant rolls of fat.

  • (YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE.)

  • This wasn't the only really, really, really classless outfit I saw. My question: WHY, OH DEAR GOODNESS WHY!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, AMERICA!? Is it Six Flags that makes you want to look like a cheap (by that, I mean, FREE, FREE, FREE FREE FREE FREE) tramp? Or do you just dress like that all the time?

  • Speaking of Six Flags, for some reason, one of the prizes at those "pay us $10 to play this game even though you just spent $60 to get in!" games was a basketball, so all over the park, you'd have kids dribbling the ball while walking and while standing in line for rides.

  • For two hours.

  • Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce. BOUNCE. BOUNCE. BOUNCE. BOUNCE. BOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCE.

  • Until finally, while throwing it up in the air, he lost control of it and it went over the fence. And as we have learned, trying to retrieve it would have been a bad idea. So it was gone. I mean, right there, but gone.



  • HILARIOUS.

  • That is what you call "natural selection on a smaller scale," and it was DELIGHTFUL.

  • I have this dill pickle obsession. I can't get enough of them. I think I may have a pickle deficiency. Or something medical that makes me inhaling pickles like some kind of addict okay.

  • I have zero self-control.

  • See also: May 3.

  • When I was at the store last night, getting my regular two jars of Vlasic Kosher Dill Spears that would last me about 36 hours, I noticed something. They have baby dill pickles. Like, whole pickles, except tiny. Tiny dill pickles.

  • I thought tiny pickles were only the sweet ones.

  • DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON SWEET PICKLES, OR BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLES, FOR THEY ARE NOT PICKLES. THEY'RE NOT. JUST, DON'T.

  • I apologize for that outburst. Sometimes, when you really, really believe in something, you get all passionate and scream-y about it. (See also: Christians!)

  • I fear this post will go on forever if I don't stop now.

  • Farewell.
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