Saturday, June 11, 2011

It's not crazy if it's necessary

For three twenty years, I have checked under the covers in my bed for critters before entering it.

I have seen geckos in my shower. I have caught snakes in my room. I have witnessed beetles walk across my floor. It was only a matter of time before they all ended up in my bed. 

And in my toilet. I check there too. Because TOILET SNAKES TOTALLY EXIST. Remember that the next time you have to pee.

Anyway, every night before I turn out the light, I check under the sheets. Then between the sheets and the comforter. Then behind the pillows. And then, depending on how paranoid I'm feeling that day, inside the pillowcases and under the bed as well.

And if Jack's already in bed when I go to bed? The light goes back on and the bed gets checked with him in it.

He has always made fun of me for it. (Also, probably contemplated divorcing me for it on the nights I turn the light back on.)

But tonight, as I was checking the bed, I found and killed a spider in the sheets on his side.

Basically, I saved Jack's life. (HE COULD HAVE DIED, YOU GUYS.)

I told him of my heroic act and that he could no longer think I'm crazy for doing my critter search.

"Thank you," he said, "but I still think you're crazy."

Next time, I'm leaving the spider and sleeping in the guest bed.

After a thorough check, of course.
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