Wednesday, July 13, 2011

That's what happens

It feels good not to have goals.

So. Good.

I know that sounds contrary to what we're told all our lives, but not having goals? Can be a really good thing. For us, at least. Jack keeps shaking his head and going "this is so weird - this is the first time I haven't had a goal in my whole life."

Worlds is over, and I wrote nary a blog post about it, but, well, you got the idea. Jack's a Master Jack now. The school is finally getting into a groove, and there's really nothing stressful on the horizon* for the first time in at least a year.

And! We just got back from vacation.

Ahhh, vacation.

When we left for the airport last week, we just kind of, exhaled. And we talked. Like, FACE-TO-FACE. It doesn't happen much, you guys. Master Husband: he is busy. Not-so-Master Mandy: she makes poor decisions about when to start BIG PROJECTS THAT CANNOT BE ABANDONED.**

There are two kinds of vacations:

1) The kind of vacation where you lay on beaches and drink blended fruity beverages with little umbrellas in them, spending a lot of your time in the hotel room, you know, eating strawberries,

or b) The kind of vacation where you do extreme activities and get yourselves very, very, sore and sunburned, collapsing into your bed each night and falling asleep instantly.

This particular vacation was the latter sort of vacation.

Case in point, this:

In case you couldn't tell from this video, we are white water rafting on the Arkansas River in Colorado. This was Three Rock Rapid, to be exact. My brother has a GoPro waterproof camera on his helmet, and that's me and Jack on the left side of the boat.

The raft right in front of us, guided by He-Who-We-Were-Really-Glad-Wasn't-Guiding-Our-Raft, went into the rapid sideways, so instead of going over it like they were supposed to, they were pushed back into our boat, hitting both Jack and I. It went on to flip over, dumping all the people out into the river.

Meanwhile, our own boat stood straight up in the crashing waves, coming shockingly close to flipping as well. Jack fell out of our boat, tossing his paddle away from him as he hit the water, and I was forced to (HEROICALLY) SAVE HIS LIFE by pulling him back into the boat. After that, we rescued a couple more people from the other boat, and if you missed the guide's comment at the end, it was "That's what happens at Three Rock if you F*** it up." (Ha.)

Didn't quite catch all that? Here's the crash again at half-speed:

After we got Jack and the others back into the boat, I put my hand to my lip and then brought it back in front me to see blood on my hand.

Oh. My lip's bleeding.

I figured it was from being hit by the other boat. Because, um, I GOT HIT WITH A BOAT. I remembered it coming at me, all giant and fast-like. So, you know, I figured that was where my bleeding lip, which I would later look in the mirror to discover was also a delightfully fetching fat lip as well.

But then we watched the video.

And we discovered this:

Uh, yeah.

I hit myself in the face with the end of my paddle. Because, of course I would.

And to be honest, they told us this could happen. They went over the number-one rule over and over: DON'T LET GO OF YOUR T-BAR BECAUSE WHEN THE OTHER SIDE HITS THE WATER THE T WILL RICOCHET BACK AND HIT YOU IN THE FACE.

So, you know, I learned that one the hard way, I guess. And our guide was right.

That's what happens if you f*** things up.


*The "stressful thing" on the horizon for me is a business trip, AKA, a free 2-week Mediterranean cruise, where I will be working on a video crew in and around Italy, Croatia, Greece, and Turkey. So, even if I was stressed about it (which, THE PACKING! HELP!), I wouldn't be able to complain about it. Because I'm pretty sure one of you would come and punch me in the face.

**Let's just say... the timeline on a kitchen remodel? Not well-considered. But my kitchen. Oh, the pretty. I will post about that too someday. Maybe. I do have a super-stressful work trip coming up, you know.
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