Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Master Stapler

I have a new schedule.

It will, of course, solve all of my problems and stress. Because that's what new schedules do. New schedules are full of hope and structure and magic.

It's one of the many things that I have decided will simplify my life and relieve my stress. Along with:


  • Carrying a smaller purse (Less clutter!), 
  • Making a meal plan and shopping ahead of time (Dinner? No problem! I planned ahead because I am super-wife! HEAR ME ROAR!), 
  • Paying with a debit card or cash (No credit card bill coming this month! Weee!), 
  • Talking about serious subjects to friends via awkward word vomit (I'm an open book, ladies and gentlemen!),
  • Listening to the Bible on the way to work in the morning (I mean, LISTENING to it! Like an audiobook! WHO KNEW!?), 
  • And of course, refusing to be mad about anything at work (It's just work! It's not life!)


Of course, all of this has lasted about a week and a half, and yes, that week and a half was blissful and all, but you know,


  • I'm not taking as many pictures when my purse doesn't fit my DSLR (sad), 
  • We're out of milk so maybe I'll skip tonight's meal (and we can't even have cereal! Because, no milk!), 
  • Really I just haven't had time to find my new credit card (did I mention I lost my credit card overseas? Am responsible!) 
  • I am so not mature enough for serious conversations sans joking around and ruining it (also, talking about feelings makes me panic. See? Panic. That's a feeling. I'm growing.),
  • That data connection for the audio bible app goes in and out in the car so I will probably die in a car crash trying to reload it someday, 
  • And, you know, not much is happening at work to be mad at yet.


But the new schedule! Will surely stick. And will be the secret to my happiness for sure. Hope! Structure! MAGIC!

Part of this new schedule of mine includes working at the taekwondo school after work a few times a week, which may sound like more work and stress (it is!) but I think it'll actually relieve some of the time I usually spend working (it probably won't!) by allowing me to get everything done those evenings and having the rest of the week for myself (I'll find more things to do!)

So Jack has been training me in areas of bookkeeping (Man, there are a lot of k's and e's in that word! Look! Look at all the k's and e's!) and data entry and all the other Things Which Keep the School Running (which in turn keeps me eating and buying pretty things like shampoo).

It has been... fun. My husband? He is good at what he does. He is an excellent teacher. He is an excellent salesman. He makes really good burritos. And he is one of the kindest people I know.

But learning this job from him? Reminds me of um, how very different God made us!

You see, he is a details person. As in "open this dialog box and type the student's name, then change the date in this box and then type a four in this box and then check this box and save it by pressing these keys."

I? Am a "big picture" person. Because in the meantime I'm like, "Oh hey, what are we doing here? Bookkeeping? Is this an invoice? Are we entering an invoice?"

It is an interesting experience.

Especially when he is so detailed about the things he does that, had I been teaching somebody in that manner, I would have been incredibly condescending.

"Now, you're going to staple these two pieces of paper together. To do this, you will line up the front and back pages, making sure you line up the very edges and the corner, and then you will reach into your drawer, grab the stapler, and put a staple in the top right corner of the two papers, making sure that it is completely straight and not at all angled."

(THAT WAS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM YESTERDAY.)

(See also: HE HAS THE CRAZY.)

I'm keeping my mouth shut (as a good wife should!) because I know this is how he thinks and it's really not condescending at all coming from him, and really, when it comes down to it, I am getting ALL of the information I will need (and then some).

Plus, by the end of this training? I'm going to be a Master stapler.

Just like him.
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