Thursday, August 11, 2011

She got a donkey

So, they have this thing they do in Santorini.

Well, wait, I should rephrase that. They have this thing the tourists do in Santorini.

You see, Santorini is built on a big 'ol cliff over the ocean, like so:

See also: Mandy still hasn't bothered getting real pictures from the external hard drive so you're still looking at cell phone pictures.

And when your town is built on a big 'ol cliff over the ocean, and it's 1821 or you are a character in "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," I guess you take a donkey up the cliff.

So that's what we did. We took a donkey up a cliff.

Video evidence:

May I just say? I belong in the city. A city, preferably, where my primary (or secondary, for that matter) mode of transportation is not living. I'M NOT THE GIRL WHO SHOULD BE RIDING A DONKEY, IS WHAT I AM SAYING.

Of course, I got the suicidal donkey, who loved hugging the edge of that cliff any chance he got. 980 foot drop? YES, PLEASE! Hey, donkey friends! This'll be funny! Watch as I jump off this 980-foot cliff with this dumb city-girl on my back! HA! HA HA HA HA HA!! HAAA!

I guess he lost his nerve at some point, because we did indeed get to the top of the cliff without falling off, by the grace of God. Our little herd got there just before Eric, Owen, and Dusty's did, so I moved to the side and began to take pictures of them on their donkeys coming around the corner.

And that's when things went very, very wrong.

You know that phrase "what goes up must come down?" Evidently, it's true of donkeys. Because as I was standing there, trying to get the perfect shot of my stupid friends on their stupid donkeys, another herd came barreling down the hill on one side of me. Just as I was trying to move out of their way, I realized that Eric's group had caught up with me, going up the hill on the other side of me, trapping me in between the two herds of stampeding donkeys.

I reacted completely sanely and calmly, obviously, because I have such a great track record of that.

Oh wait, no, that doesn't sound like me.

No, I FREAKED THE HECK OUT as soon as I realized I was trapped between the two running herds.

I began running uphill through all kinds of fun things that had come out of donkeys earlier, trying to outrun Eric's group of donkeys, which I'm sure is definitely the thing you're supposed to do when you're about to be trampled by two herds of donkeys. "LOOK! SHE'S RUNNING UPHILL! LET'S ALL RUN TOO!"

I would get a little ahead and then more donkeys would come downhill, putting me right back in the middle of them again where I was sure I would either be trampled or pooped on; avoiding both was absolutely impossible. I began repeating "I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!" over and over as I ran, which, surprisingly, did not magically remove me from the situation.

It wasn't super-productive, let me tell you. Also, if you freak out because you're being trampled by donkeys, your friends will make fun of you later.

Somehow, I made it out pretty much alive, albeit covered in donkey smell and, hmm, let's call it dirt. This was a great way to start the day in lovely Santorini.

While I'm of the belief set that every experience, good or bad, is a valuable one, and this was definitely something I'll remember?

I think I'll take the tram next time.
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