Today I was walking into the grocery store after work when I happened to notice a man opening up the hood of his car a few spaces away from where I parked.
"Awwww maaaan!" he said to himself as he fiddled with the battery. I stopped walking and glanced over.
"Do you need a jump?" I asked.
He whipped around and stared at me, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
Like, stared for a long time.
An awkward amount of time.
I started to worry that I had said something weird. Maybe he was taking it dirty or something. Maybe I shouldn't ask random men if they want a jump.
"Like, for your battery?" I continued, slowly, after many awkward, silent seconds. "Of your car?"
After another moment he finally snapped out of his stupor.
"You would DO that!?" he gushed.
"Uh, yeah, it's no problem," I said, eyeing the car in between my car and the guy's car, "though I'm not sure if the jumper cables will stretch that far, so we may need to get this car to move..."
"I just... can't believe you would do that!" he said again, extending his hand and introducing himself. Did he think I was offering something very different than I was? He didn't seem as concerned with the logistics as I was.
"No worries," I said again. "So how do you want to..."
"Do you want a beer?" he asked, gesturing back to his non-working car. "I just bought some cold Bud Light."
"Uh, no, I'm good, thanks," I replied. Let's just open one right up in the grocery store parking lot, shall we?
Just then, another guy came out of a store in the shopping center, who, thankfully, knew Beer Guy. They started talking, and then Just-Came-Out-Of-The-Store Guy said he would make sure Beer Guy got all set up, so thanks for the offer but they wouldn't need my help after all.
Beer Guy shook my hand one more time and thanked me profusely again. As I walked away, I heard him telling Just-Came-Out-Of-The-Store Guy about the AMAZING turn of events in which SOMEBODY OFFERED TO GIVE HIM A JUMP WHEN HIS CAR DIED(!!!!!)
"Man, it was crazy! Nobody would have EVER stopped and helped when I lived in L.A.!" he gushed.
And then it all made sense. His crazy, crazy stare when I first asked. His copiously thanking me and even offering a [weird] gift in exchange for this CLEARLY OVER-THE-TOP offer.
He's not from around these parts.
Well, you are not in Los Angeles anymore, sir. Welcome to Dallas.
Welcome to Dallas.