Thursday, September 27, 2012

Honor her for all that her hands have done.

My jeans are loose.

Which makes me afraid to wash them and find out that they're just stretched out.

Because, I mean, who washes their jeans all that often?

Everyone? Oh, me too, totally.

Jack and I have been doing this diet thing (which I am NOT a fan of because diets suck and make you feel deprived whereas a healthy lifestyle, while it may not end up giving you as dramatic results, will make you feel good all the time and you won't have that yo-yo thing going and blah blah blah), because he wanted to try it so I said I'd do it too.

(It's called the "Advocare 24 Day challenge" and it starts with a cleanse and eww, there is nothing redeeming about that word, and I'm in the "you shouldn't need supplements if you're eating real food in the first place" camp, so you can tell I'm SUPER-INTO THIS).

We're on day... I don't know. Something toward the end. And we have been cheating. For example, Rosa's opened nearby yesterday, and there is NO WAY I was going to wait a few days to have a Rosa's tortilla. No way, dude. Five years is long enough to wait after leaving my beloved College Station Rosa's.

But, I guess cutting out carbs, dairy, sugar, fried food, and red meat will do something for you, because like I said, my jeans are loose now. Which, along with the year-anniversary of her death, makes me think of my buddy Sara, because,

1) I may have to buy new jeans soon and she always picked out my jeans. ALWAYS. From her house. I texted (tweeted actually) her a picture of every single pair I tried on, butt and all, and she told me which pair to buy. She had a GIFT for choosing flattering jeans.

2) She struggled with the way she felt about her own "jeans size" and body image (though obviously she traded in her jeans for PJ pants after she got sick) her whole life. Her favorite photo of herself was one in which you couldn't really see her face.


I have been thinking about that lately, especially with the diet thing and Sara's anniversary date. I use an app called "My Fitness Pal" and have a few friends on there who are SUPER HARD CORE about their dieting and training (Hi Lori!). Which, more power to them, seriously. I use the app to remind myself to think before stuffing ALL THE THINGS in my mouth and to make sure that the calories I choose are worth it, but many people use it differently.

Occasionally, however, I see people updating their status to chastise themselves for eating a cupcake, or going over their calorie goal for the DAY, or something similar. And I always think "I don't want to live like that."

I don't want to live feeling guilty about having eaten way too much of the most ridiculously amazing red velvet cake in the world at Bonnie Ruth's, because it probably also meant that I was laughing with my husband.

I don't want to live being a slave to workouts, because it might mean that I'll have to turn down an invite to go out for a drink (water, obvs) with the girls after work.

I don't want to live only seeing the flaws in pictures of myself.

I don't want to live unable to believe my husband when tells me that I'm sexy.

I don't want to live dreading a day at the beach because it means I will have to wear a swimming suit.

These are all things that we fight all the time (especially us girls, I think), and I'm not always secure or confident about everything, but the more I fall in love with my friends and my God and my LIFE, the more I realize that the way you look is not what makes you matter to them.

(I think Proverbs 31 mentioned that, maybe?)

Sara spent most of her younger years worried about how she looked and how skinny she was. And like anyone, she never completely lost her body image insecurities.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

But we have lived without her for a year now, and people have sure had a lot to say about her beauty during that time. And, though I could never convince her of this (did you SEE those beautiful heart-shaped lips and gorgeous green eyes full of life?), she really was beautiful on the outside.

They have had a lot to say about the other beautiful stuff, too.

Her perseverance.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Her faith.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

Her attitude.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Her love. Her warmth. Her lovely singing voice. Her sense of humor. Her laugh (and subsequent snort).

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Her kindness. My goodness, her kindness.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

Funny. I haven't heard a single person say a word about her jeans size.
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